Who I Once Was
by N.S WAND
Summary: A girl might be no one, but she was not a faceless man. "so, a girl has been Arya Stark all along?" "No. a girl is no one" he did not believe her. "we shall see" he said. "it is not a lie." - "it is not me you are lying to then."


An idea I had for a while now. At the moment a one shot but might expend on it if I feel like it.

**Who I once was**

To become a faceless man, one must become no one. To become no one, one must be able to become anyone. And to become anyone, one must be able to do anything.

A girl might be no one, but she was not a faceless man. For a faceless man must not want, must not desire and must have no preference.

A girl was no longer the one they called Arya Stark, but she still wanted and still dreamed. She wanted to play in the snow again as she did as a child, she wanted to wear breeches, run in the woods and play in the mud. she wanted to see her wolf again. She wanted revenge and she wanted freedom.

A girl had been more than four years now in the house of black and white, but it had only taken her half that time to realize that freedom was just as restricted here as it was for a lady back home. The only difference was that here she was encouraged to use her sword.

A girl knew she couldn't just leave. Once you are in the house of black and white you either give the gift or receive the gift, but you cannot go back. You might not need to take a vow, but only because _they_ do not need you to take one.

And so, a girl planned. She did not care for her name, but she did care for her freedom. By now a girl was so good at being no one that even the kindly man could no longer tell her lies from her truths.

A girl knew that if she was to be free, the house of black and white would have to be gone. And she was not the only one wishing it gone.

She had been careful about it, only sending searching hints at the other acolytes first. She was not the only one in training, but she was of the minority that joined willingly. Most had no choice- she knew.

Most wanted out.

A girl was not sure of it at first, but the more she killed, the more she knew it was what was right. Most a girl had to kill were vile man. But some were not. A child of a wealthy man, a woman who ran away from an abusive marriage, a warrior with a large family who had no money to give and could not pay his way out a debt.

A faceless man would not care for them. A girl was not a faceless man. Most acolytes were not faceless man. Just very good assassins.

The order was said to exist to oppose slavery and those who had business in it, but it no longer stood for what it was said to have been established for.

'money' a girl thought.

It was all that mattered to the masters. It did not matter to her. Freedom did. Justice did. And so, she'll fight for it.

There were more acolytes than faceless masters, but they were mostly younger ones. Many started the training but not many finished it. While they were not as good as fighters and not as experienced as assassins, they did have the advantage of surprise.

The faceless men were all dead within one night. She had seen to the kindly man herself.

"so, a girl has been Arya Stark all along?" it was a half question.

"No. a girl is no one. That is a truth. But she cannot be a faceless man." A girl could see the eyes on the kindly man narrow before looking down and closing.

"we shall see" he said. He thought her to be lying. She was not.

"it is not a lie." It came out harsher than intended.

"it is not me you are lying to then."

Her knife slit his throat.

XXXxxxXXX

"It is done" the boy next to her said "we are free to go"

He was a had taller than her, with dark eyes and hair and copper skin. It was his real face, she knew.

He could not be much older than she was. And yet they were some of the older ones.

"It is done. and we are free, but not safe."

He sent her puzzled look.

"The order worked for money. The Iron bank is money, and the house of black and white was their strength." She sent a pointed look. "they will want us to pay."

"That is so"

She looked at the children behind her. Most were boys, a few were girls. The oldest maybe a year or two her senior and the youngest seemed no older than seven.

"they cannot go back to their homes. It is better they are thought dead."

"and yet we cannot all stay together. Large groups, especially ones with ages such as ours attract too much attention."

There were twenty and seven of them. Four had perished in the attack. She was five and ten now. There were only ten other than her that were older than three and ten themselves.

She agreed. "the older ones can pair up with the younger ones. Preferably ones that could pass as siblings."

He nodded "where shall you go?"

"pentos"

his eyes told her to continue.

"there is a Targaryen army marching on the iron thrown. They are looking to gather strength. I can be whoever I wish to be now and who I once was has unfinished business in the seven kingdoms"

"you are not who you were when you first came here."

None of them were.

"I am not. But I have never truly managed to kill myself either. I will never be the same me again, but I might try and be a different me instead."

"if that is what you wish" he did not seem to completely understand her but she did not need him to.

_'__it is not me you lie to'_ the kindly man was right. She was done with being lied to. Especially by herself.

They left the house of black and house and set it aflame. The faceless man had too much power to them. It would be best if their art was to truly be gone.

'_I cannot be Arya Stark just yet' _she knew. It was too risky now.

But one day…

Hope you enjoyed =) I know it might have came out a bit OOC but

i was just trying to have fun with the idea.

Thanks for reading.


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